自言自语

婚事黄了。

难受，喘不上气的那种难受。

我怎么了？

是我自己有问题么？

婚纱照拍了，戒指买了，还是黄了。。。。

或许我早就错过了。

渴望生命中的一点阳光，不要多，一点点就够了。。。。

 

想休假。

 

我到成都了，出差也好，培训也罢，公家给派过来的。

期待？兴奋？还有隐隐的忐忑不安，说不出自己究竟是怎样一种心情，可以确定的是，这不是由于自己一个人走这么远造成的。

自走过那根独木桥，出门已经整整10年了，这次到成都，不过又是一个城市罢了，不同的是，成都的人。

一个人，行走在成都的街道，伸出手去，摸摸已经长了青苔的墙，想象着那个曾经飞扬的笑容，略带张狂的笑声。

一个朋友陪着，一个朋友的朋友陪着，陪着我在这样的秋日，有点潮，有点热，有点躁动，走过宽巷子，还有路边的小店。

就快结婚了，我。

Now, it is the first day of Chinese New Year and it will be over 2hours later, and I want to write something in English to record my feeling or something else, even if my English is poor exactly. It is a new beginning, and when I look forward, I found that I was so failed during the last year. while I am dissapoint to myself.

You need people so you need people like you.  I couldn't get it.

The worst thing is that I couldm't make sure whether my boyfriend  loved me or not while I am prepareing our wedding. Thers are so many things that show he wasn't put me on the heart, however, I lost myself in his words every time. Maybe I am not sober and I am not suitable to entering the matrimonial state now. What I now able to deternine is that I can't believe him. So I want a stop. Of course, it may just premarital phobia only.

Seocnd, my father. He has done for more than 1 year of treatment, for lung cancer after the surgery. He is a brave man, and he is the best father. His body was better at the first 4 month, and get worse the next days. I have no idea. Mother is so tired and sister is too young. I would like to bear all but it seems that I am not strong enough. I feel myself useless.

My job. This is the only thing under my control. I recognize that I have no passion on it and I have been working about 18 months.

 

Who can help me ? 

不知道从什么时候开始，答题卡成了考试的主角

似乎还没有什么考试中没有答题卡的

我们也逐渐习惯了考试的时候带着2B铅笔，涂涂画画

今天上午头一门--药学（一）

答题卡的题号以10为单位纵向排列：

1      11      21        31

2      12      22        32

3

4

5

6

7

8

9

10     20      30       40

 

 

41     51        61      71

…… ……

以此类推

没想到的是下午！！！

竟然是横向排列的！！！！！

1       2       3        4

5       6       7        8

……

差点就栽进去了

 

抗议！！

从来没有见过哪一次的考试和今天一样，有这么多人不来

1/3的座位都是空着的

人们这是怎么了呢？